10 Mar Slice of Life: When You Meet Your Adult Child for the First Time #SOL19 #TWTBlog

My phone vibrates.  I look to see who it is.  My son Jack.  He hasn’t called us without request since we dropped him off at college in September.  I am in a meeting.  His problem.  I hit decline. 

When I get in the car after my meeting, I listen to his message. He is coming to Boston to fly to a tournament for his ultimate frisbee team. 

Hey, I will have like two hours in Boston before I fly out.  Should I come home?  Will you be there?  We could eat.

Interesting.  I text him back.

Sure.  When will you be here?  Just you?  Friends are welcome.  What do you want to eat?

3:00.  Just me.  Chinese.

I look at my watch.

Great.  See you then.

I recalculate my day in my head. And set off to make it all happen. 

I arrive home with minutes to spare, Chinese food in hand.  I let the dog out.  Set the table, grab the t-shirt I bought him on our ski trip, and make sure I have a selection of his favorite drinks. 

Whew, pulled it off.  I begin unpacking my work bag and I hear the door open.  He is a sight for sore eyes.  I never realize how much I miss him until I see him.  He accepts my hug and even lingers a second longer than usual.

I got Chinese food.  Are you hungry?

Starving. We wanted to make our last class, so we drove straight through without getting food.

I lead him to the table where I have it all set out.  He grabs a plate and goes to dig in.  Suddenly he stops.  He retracts his fork.  He turns to meet my gaze.

Shoot.  I forgot.  I don’t eat red meat.  Cow farts are bad for the environment.

I think he noticed my silence.  I am not one to be at a loss for words.  My inside the head voice is going strong!

I am not a vegetarian. It is just red meat and pork.  It really is a problem.  Do you know about it?

He fills his plate with all the non-red meat options as he explains why cow farts are bad for the environment.  I try to listen to and comprehend his very scientific explanation and can’t help but remember the boy would be giggling over cow farts.  How has time passed so quickly?  When did he become a citizen with concerns for our world?  What kind of place transformed the mind of my logical, STEM brain child?  I quiet the voice in my mind to open space to welcome his words and get to know my adult son. 

There is nothing more humbling and gratifying than sending your child off into the world and respecting them more when they return.  Parenting is a journey.  Trusting the process and embracing the ups and downs.  Every tantrum, obsession and quirk that makes no sense at the time will develop into a part of who they will become.  As teachers and parents, we need to stop trying to pave the way, heading off every possible disappointment or failure.  We need to celebrate the hard moments as much as the victorious moments.  It is all these moments that create us and define us but only if we honor the beauty within them.

And Mom, we had this speaker this month? She was incredible.  Her name is Nadia Murad.  She won the Nobel peace prize this fall?  Have you heard of her? I think you would really like her – there is a video of her talk on the website.  She talked ….

He goes on and I am in awe of the man sitting in front of me.

Clare

Thank you to Beth Moore for the inspiration for this post. Here is the mentor text I used: http://elizabeth-moore.com/solsc/2019/3/8/bedtime-routine-solsc-day-8